A Partially Successful Experiment (Because I'm a Glass-Half-Full Kind of Guy...)

First, some things to know about the type of gardener I am:

• I don't fertilize
• I don't lose sleep over a brown leaf or three
• I only water when the planting is new, or when we are experiencing a severe drought

I expect plants to do what evolution has made them to do--thrive or die. I won't spend huge amounts of time trying to get something to grow that just won't. I may move it to a differing part of the garden, I may give it a bit of extra water for a time if it's having trouble establishing itself, but overall I just want plants to do what plants do best. Be pretty, grow, bloom. I'll weed, I'll mulch, but that's pretty much it.

That said, I think we've all heard of that magnificent pallet garden, which promises vertical gardening for those lacking in horizontal space (or any other dimension), in which herbs and flowers will prosper and bring life-long happiness and wish-fulfillment!

The Beginning...

It starts out painfully, much like trying to wax your own bum... A lot of twisting and turning, a few "OUCH!!!"es, and just a bit of cursing in which your neighbor is constantly calling out every few minutes over the terribly lacking not-so-neighbor-proof fence, "What are you doing?!" and "Are you done yet?!" And this is all in just trying to get the landscaping fabric to adhere to the sides and back of your skid. 

So after much stapling, the use of at least a hundred large-headed nails, and a pair of tweezers to remove splinters, you finally get the cursed fabric to stay where it needs to stay upon much improvising and swearing. 

Then you get to pack it with dirt and plants, the highlight of any gardeners day! You carefully and lovingly select which one's will go on the top, the middle, the bottom. You vary the colors of the leaves against the colors of the blooms. You leave it lying flat for a few days, lavishing it with water and love before finally propping it up against said not-so-neighbor-proof fence and you await the growth, love and joy of a vertical garden!!!

The End...

Yeah... Not so fast there, Skippy.

Here's the thing about the pallet garden. Above all else, it craves moisture. Wood is a little bit like that grandmother, sucking you of all the love and attention she needs while providing little to nothing in return. And if you have planted not-so-drought-tolerant plants within the confines of your skid? Be prepared for the same amounts of disappointment...

The rosemary and moss roses struggled from the get-go. The petunias up and died--twice. Even the Oregano was feeling a bit dried up and flavorless. And this was all while going against my natural inclinations and watering it like a half-dead camel I found in the Mojave! Buckets and buckets and buckets of water... 

The vinca, on the other hand, did quite well. The purslane as well (which, if you haven't heard of it, is pretty, drought tolerant, and completely edible!), and the coleus did so well it got too tall for it's own good and snapped off at the base. And the basil? Like a DREAM! It did so well I have baby basil plants cropping up in at least three other containers! 

So the lesson here is don't pick plants that are camel-like in nature. And don't expect every pretty or tasteful thing to do well. And most importantly, remember this: if you have small animals, like a cat or a Chihuahua? They will get in touch with their inner mountain goat and climb it like a stairway to heaven. They will uproot plants, dig between the slats, and even sit on the top-most plants as a cushion for their butts and use it as a look-out post over their kingdom.

The only practical solution to this is to surround your skid with barbed wire, but then you just end up looking like Sheriff Grimes in a no-name prison, gardening while surrounded by fencing meant to keep the monsters out a la The Walking Dead. Not exactly a gardening paradise...

Until next time, my fellow enthusiast...

New Life? New Blog...

A Northeastern Dragon settles into a warmer climate...

Palm trees... There's more than one...

You can take the boy out of the northeast--that's easy. Teaching the boy to garden in a Zone 10 after he's lived his entire life gardening in a Zone 6?

That takes a bit of time, not to mention a fair amount of mourning for long-time favorites you can no longer plant on a regular basis.

Of course, there's the flip side of never having to replant your impatiens, your geraniums, your coleus... And since I've always been more than a bit partial to impatiens...? That *is* a bright side...

There is also more than one kind of palm tree, did you know? Perhaps that was a bit naive on my part, but I thought palm trees were palm trees unless they were coconut trees.

LOTS of different kinds of palm trees... See here if you care, suffice it to say you may be a bit overwhelmed... Again, bright side? The number of trees you can grow is much larger than a north-easterner would expect. Winner winner chicken dinner!

Lizards, lizards everywhere...

Starting a new garden takes times, not necessarily a yard...

And don't get me started on wildlife... A lot more of it comes in scales than fur... Geckos, iguanas, salamanders, and a crapload of others that I neither know the name of or care to find in my bathtub, like this little guy who was hanging out in the tree just outside my backdoor. This leggy snake-like cousin was about a footlong and so well blended into the tree I only saw him when my cat started his stalk-mode creep on the kitchen floor toward the backdoor...

But in actuality, I'm starting this blog because

• I miss writing, and
• I had a strange dream in which I was weeding purple flowers from between my kitchen tiles and awoke in a foul mood because I woke up before I could finish weeding said kitchen floor!

What, you think this a strange reason to blog? Eh, I've heard worse... Read worse... Seen worse...

And thus I share with you here the beginnings of my new garden, in plastic containers, a pallet or two, discarded pots, and a number of yard sale finds. One need not three-quarters of an acre under deciduous trees, or even a six foot wide, twenty foot long alley barren of grass (although this is what I find myself with currently) as I have seen many the apartment dwelling gardner using their small patio or windowsill to scratch that greenthumb bug...

However, if you own my cat, a windowsill won't cut it. Beaux doesn't like to share the space, and besides that, he eats anything he can fit in his mouth. Makes for a great cockroach killer, but not so much a good garden friend...

So with that, here's the new blog. An Absolute Debarkle. To be filled with the exploits, foibles, downfalls, pitfalls, screw-ups and, hopefully, a few success stories on learning to garden in a Zone 10.

Thank god for google...